| ! | Warning: This song contains questionable elements (suicidal ideation); it may be inappropriate for younger audiences. All external links may also contain questionable elements. The Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki attempts to follow the Fandom TOU, and thus will not host lyrics which are extremely sexual, violent, or discriminatory in nature. If the lyrics found on this page are found to violate the Fandom TOU, they might be removed without notice. |
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| Song title | |||
| "40歳くらいで死にたい。" Romaji: Yonjuusai Kurai de Shinitai. English: I want to die at about 40 years old. | |||
| Original Upload Date | |||
| December 14, 2018 | |||
| Singer | |||
| Xin Hua | |||
| Producer(s) | |||
Aoya (music, lyrics)
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| Views | |||
| 180,000+ (NN), 1,900,000+ (YT) | |||
| Links | |||
| Niconico Broadcast / YouTube Broadcast | |||
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Description
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Lyrics
| ! | ! |
| Japanese | Romaji | English |
| ずっと何かを気にして生きてきました。 | zutto nanika o ki ni shite ikite kimashita. | I always lived while worrying about something. |
| ずっと恥を忍んで生きてきました。 | zutto haji o shinonde ikite kimashita. | I always swallowed my pride. |
| 「えっ、違うの？」という言葉に | "e, chigau no?" to iu kotoba ni | “Am I wrong?” Those words |
| 一番苦しめられました。 | ichiban kurushimeraremashita. | tormented me the most. |
| 分かってほしいと願い、 | wakatte hoshii to negai, | I wanted you to understand, |
| それでいて「分かる」と言われれば、 | sore de ite "wakaru" to iwarereba, | but when you said “I get it,” |
| 分かるわけがないと思い、 | wakaru wake ga nai to omoi, | I didn’t believe you |
| もう心は一生分働きました。 | mou kokoro wa isshoubun hatarakimashita. | and my heart had already done a lifetime’s work. |
| 察し、察せられ。そんなやり取りに | sasshi, sasserare. sonna yaritori ni | Assuming, and being pre-judged. |
| 疲れてしまっただけなのです。 | tsukarete shimatta dake nano desu. | I’m tired of this back-and-forth. |
| ただそれ以上のことは考えられなく、 | tada sore ijou no koto wa kangaerarenaku, | I just want to give up and not need to think |
| ただもうやめたいのです。 | tada mou yametai no desu. | about anything more than that. |
| 言えば何かが必ず伝わるらしいのです。 | ieba nanika ga kanarazu tsutawaru rashii no desu. | It seems like something gets through to people when you say it. |
| 勇気を出して言ったことが、 | yuuki o dashite itta koto ga, | I summoned my courage and spoke |
| 皆さんにとっては心底どうでもいい | minasan ni totte wa shinsoko dou demo ii | but everyone treated it as something trivial |
| ことだったりするのです。 | koto dattari suru no desu. | deep in their hearts. |
| 結局何も変わらなかったりするので、 | kekkyoku nani mo kawaranakattari suru no de, | Nothing changed in the end. |
| また恥が増えるのでした。 | mata haji ga fueru no deshita. | I just got more embarrassed. |
| 頭を空っぽにして、人のように | atama o karappo ni shite, hito no you ni | I blanked my mind and was able to |
| 動き続けることができていました。 | ugokitsuzukeru koto ga dekite imashita. | go through the motions of being a person. |
| きっとこのままいけば、 | kitto kono mama ikeba, | I guess I can keep living |
| 動く死人のように生き続ける | ugoku shinin no you ni ikitsuzukeru | like an animated corpse |
| ことはできるのでしょう。 | koto wa dekiru no deshou. | if things stay like this. |
| 一番良いはずの今が死人なら、 | ichiban yoi hazu no ima ga shinin nara, | If I’m a corpse during what’s meant to be the best time of my life, |
| 更に劣化する未来に | sarani rekka suru mirai ni | I’ve got nothing to look forward to. |
| 期待するものが何もないのです。 | kitai suru mono ga nani mo nai no desu. | It’s all downhill from here. |
| 愛し、愛され。あったことは | aishi, aisare. atta koto wa | Loving and being loved. I know it’s happened before, |
| 知っていても心動かず、 | shitte ite mo kokoro ugokazu, | but my heart is still. |
| 休めばまた思い出せると知りつつも、 | yasumeba mata omoidaseru to shiri tsutsu mo, | I know I can remember when I rest, |
| 半端は許されないのです。 | hanpa wa yurusarenai no desu. | but being half-hearted isn’t allowed. |
| それならばもう、やめさせてほしい | sore naraba mou, yamesasete hoshii | Alright then, I want you to let me stop. |
| のです。何度も引きとめていただくのにも | no desu. nando mo hikitomete itadaku no ni mo | I was tired of being held back, |
| 疲れて、終始黙っていました。 | tsukarete, shuushi damatte imashita. | so I was silent from beginning to end. |
| 何もしないこと以外、 | nani mo shinai koto igai, | I no longer knew how to use up my life |
| 生を消費する術が分からなくなり、 | sei o shouhi suru sube ga wakaranaku nari, | apart from doing nothing |
| やめることを決意したのでした。 | yameru koto o ketsui shita no deshita. | and I decided to give up. |
| 簡単に「死にたい」だの | kantan ni "shinitai" da no | I hated people who were so quick to say |
| 「もう無理」だのと言う奴が嫌いでした。 | "mou muri" da no to iu yatsu ga kirai deshita. | “I want to die,” or “I can’t go on.” |
| それが今は軽々しく | sore ga ima wa karugarushiku | My regret from |
| 文字に起こせてしまうことに、 | moji ni okosete shimau koto ni, | rashly writing those words |
| 申し訳なさが募るのでした。 | moushiwake nasa ga tsunoru no deshita. | grew ever stronger. |
| 君だけが「いいよ」と言い、 | kimi dake ga "ii yo" to ii, | Only you said “okay,” |
| たったそれだけで救われる話でした。 | tatta sore dake de sukuwareru hanashi deshita. | and that was enough to save me. |
| 終わりの見えない一筋の道より、 | owari no mienai hitosuji no michi yori, | A maze with an end in sight |
| 終わりの見える迷路の方が楽なのです。 | owari no mieru meiro no hou ga raku nano desu. | is easier than a road that seems endless. |
| せめてそれまでは頑張って | semete sore made wa ganbatte | It seemed like I could do my best and live, |
| 生きてみようと思えるのでした。 | ikite miyou to omoeru no deshita. | at least until then. |
English translation by Releska
Discography
This song was featured on the following album:
External Links
- piapro - Karaoke
Unofficial
- Hatsune Miku Wiki
- VocaDB
- Vocaloid Wiki
- Releska - Translation source