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Warning: This song contains explicit elements (Harsh Noises Warning, Suicidal Themes); it may be inappropriate for younger audiences.
All external links may also contain explicit elements.
The Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki attempts to follow the Fandom TOU, and thus will not host lyrics which are extremely sexual, violent, or discriminatory in nature. If the lyrics found on this page is found to violate the Fandom TOU, they might be removed without notice.
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Watashi no Koko
Song title
"麻痺"
Romaji: Mahi
Official English: numb
Original Upload Date
January 1, 2009 (album release date)
May 13, 2010 (PV)
Singer
LaLaVoice
Producer(s)
Views
5,000+
Links
YouTube Broadcast / Bandcamp Broadcast


Alternate Versions[]

Watashi no Koko album
numb
Upload date: January 1, 2008
Featuring: LaLaVoice
Producer(s): Kesson Shoujo
N/A
The original song by Kesson Shoujo, now publicly unavailable.


Lyrics[]

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The following translation was made by CoolMikeHatsune22, and may only be used in accordance with the restrictions stated on their website.
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Japanese Romaji English
みんなが幸せに見えても minna ga shiawase ni miete mo Even when everyone would look so happy
劣った自分に気付くときも ototta jibun ni kizuku toki mo Even when I would notice my feelings of inferiority
すべてがどうでもよくなって subete ga dou demo yoku natte I’d find myself coming to terms with it
大人みたいな態度を取る otona mitai na taido o toru And take up the air of someone so mature

前よりは少し楽になったかな? mae yori wa sukoshi raku ni natta kana? Have I become more comfortable than before?
麻痺する方法を覚えれば mahi suru houhou o oboereba As long as I try to remember the way to numb myself
植物のように生きて行ける shokubutsu no you ni ikite ikeru I could keep on living, just like a vegetable
別に、悪いことじゃないんだ betsu ni, warui koto ja nai nda Not that, there’s anything so wrong with that

だけど、たまに幻を見る dakedo, tama ni maboroshi o miru But, there are times when I would hallucinate
泣きながら叫んでるわたし naki nagara sakenderu watashi For this me who’s been crying, sobbing and shouting
檻の中に置き去りにしたわたし ori no naka ni okizari ni shita watashi For this me who you’ve left behind in a cage
夢の中で、会いに来るんだ yume no naka de, ai ni kuru nda I dreamt, that you came to see me


どうせも治らないから Seeing that it will never be cured
あなたに見せるの I showed it to you

そしたらあなたが舐めてくれて And then you licked it for me
痛みがちょっと麻痺して And the pain was numbed, even by a little

あなたのこころの中に What you think about me
かわいそうでキレイなわたし A pitiful and beautiful me
うれしくて気持ちいい事 The things that make me happy and feel good

「わたしブスでしょ暗いでしょ “I must be ugly, right? I must be a downer, right?
臭いでしょ気持ち悪いでしょ」 I must be smelly, right? I must be gross, right?”
それがわたしの居場所だから But that was where I belong, after all
それが歌うっていう事だから But those were the things I sing about, after all

そうしていつも疑っている And then I’m left always in doubt
なぜあなたはわたしを嫌わないの On why you didn’t hate me
どうして笑顔で接してくれるの Why you welcomed me with a smile
もっとあなたに踏み込んだなら If I stepped on you more and more
豹変するあなたが見れるというの I’m sure I’ll see you change

劣っていると気付く瞬間 When I realized that I was feeling inferior
あなたがとても遠く感じて You seem to have become so far away
こころが歪むのを感じて It felt like something in my heart has become warped
あなたとの間に線を引いて So I drew a line between the two of us
そうして自分を守っている And protected myself
そうして他人を増やしている And then you became another stranger

わたしより劣っている誰かに I want to extend my sympathies
同情してあげたい to someone who’s worse off than me
優しい言葉をかけてあげたい I want to console them with kind words
余裕たっぷりの笑顔で包んであげたい I want to wrap them in a generous smile
わたしの優しさをたっぷりと味わわせ I want to make them feel my overwhelming kindness
そうして この手の中で And then, I want to stop their breath
息の根を止めたい With my own two hands

もしも誰かがわたしを Even if someone were to
全て受け入れてくれて Accept my everything
醜い部分も愛してくれて Love even the ugly parts of me
大切な特別になれたとしても Have me become an irreplaceable existence to them
朝起きてから眠りにつくまで Yes, from the moment I get up from bed to the moment I go to sleep
その心に確かめ続けるだろう I know I’d always carry that heart with me
今もわたしはあなたの特別かな? Am I still your special someone now?
今も 未来も ずっとそうだよね? Both now, and in the future, will I always be someone special to you?

こんな音楽なんていらない I don’t need a song like this
いますぐゴミ箱に捨ててもいい You can throw it in the trash if that’s what you want
ほんの少しの時間でもいい I don’t mind if you only spare me a little of your time
未来も過去もすべていらない I don’t need the future, or the past
たったの一日でもいい Just one day is enough
だめなら一時間でもいい If that’s too much, an hour is enough
だめなら一分でもいい If that’s too much, a minute is enough
だめなら一秒でもいい If that’s too much, a second is enough
だめなら せめて If that’s too much, then, please
やすらかに眠らせて Just put me to a restful sleep

雨が止んで陽が差して The rain has stopped, and the sun shines
みんなの声が響いてて I could hear everyone’s voice ringing in the air
あなたは笑っていた You were laughing
わたしに笑顔くれたんだ You smiled at me
穏やかな世界に When I prepared myself to step out
わたしは踏み出そうとして Into that peaceful world
玄関で立ち止まって I could only stop myself by the door
ほほえみ返して戸を閉めた And return a smile back to you before closing the door shut
なぜなら きっと As for why, I know, after all,
あなたは最後には That, in the end,

わたしを嫌うから You must have hated me

English translation by CoolMikeHatsune22

Discography[]

This song and its remaster were featured on the following albums:

External Links[]

Unofficial[]

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