戯言スピーカー (Tawagoto Speaker)

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Warning: This song contains questionable elements (abuse); it may be inappropriate for younger audiences.

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Song title
"戯言スピーカー" Romaji: Tawagoto Speaker Official English: Baloney Speaker
Original Upload Date
May 7, 2011
Singer
Hatsune Miku
Producer(s)
nekobolo (music, lyrics)
Views
1,500,000+ (NN), 15,000+ (PP), 910,000+ (YT)
Links
Niconico Broadcast / piapro Broadcasr / YouTube Broadcast
Description "Sometimes, when you put words to your thoughts, you start to not understand them."

Alternate Versions

English ver.

Upload date: June 17, 2014

Featuring: Hatsune Miku

Producer(s): nekobolo

NN / YT

Chinese ver.

Upload date: June 17, 2014

Featuring: YANHE

Producer(s): nekobolo

NN / YT

Sasanomaly self-cover

Upload date: August 5, 2014

Featuring: sasanomaly

YT

Lyrics

Japanese	Romaji	English
詰め込んだ　感情を	tsumekonda kanjou o	One after the next, I killed
ひとつ　ひとつ　殺して	hitotsu hitotsu koroshite	The emotions crammed within me.
生み出した　笑顔は	umidashita egao wa	I can only bring forth smiles
きらい　きらい　の　涙	kirai kirai no namida	With tears from wave after wave of hate.

飲み込んだ　傷痕	nomikonda kizuato	I’ll never say how much
いたい　いたい　言わない	itai itai iwanai	The scars I swallowed ache and ache,
そうすれば　あなたは	sou sureba anata wa	Since you wouldn’t even notice
気付かない　から	kizukanai kara	In that kind of situation.

君の言葉が　私を殺すの	kimi no kotoba ga watashi o korosu no	It’s your very words that are killing me, you see,
君は知らないの　私の心を	kimi wa shiranai no watashi no kokoro o	Because you know nothing about what’s in my heart.
消した灯りは　灯る事は無い	keshita akari wa tomoru koto wa nai	The light that’s been blown out can never be relit.
「私」は「嘘」でできた「わたし」	'watashi' wa 'uso' de dekita 'watashi'	“I” am a “self” made up of “lies.”

日が明ければ　あなたは	hi ga akereba anata wa	When the dawn breaks, you’re not there,
いない　いない　それでいい	inai inai sore de ii	Nowhere to be found, which is fine by me.
でもあなたが　残した	demo anata ga nokoshita	Yet the scars upon scars you left behind
傷は　傷は　癒えない	kizu wa kizu wa ienai	Don’t seem to be healing.

いつものように　笑うあなたさえ	itsumo no you ni warau anata sae	In the depths of my heart, I really can’t forgive
許せはしないの　心の奥では	yuruse wa shinai no kokoro no oku de wa	Even the way you’re smiling, the way you always do.
「つらい」だなんて　言える訳無いの	'tsurai' da nante ieru wake nai no	There’s no way I could ever tell you something like “it hurts,”
「私」は「道化」のよに　笑う　笑う	'watashi' wa 'douke' no yo ni warau warau	Of course, so “I” am smiling away as though I were a “clown.”

いま　消えた　わたし　嘘だよ　嘘だよ	ima kieta watashi uso da yo uso da yo	Now, I’ve disappeared. That’s not true. That’s not true.

君の言葉が　私を殺すの	kimi no kotoba ga watashi o korosu no	It’s your very words that are killing me, you see,
許せはしないの　そんな私も	yuruse wa shinai no sonna watashi mo	But I really can’t forgive someone like that self of mine either.
あなたがいいなら　私を殺して	anata ga ii nara watashi o koroshite	If it would make you happy, go ahead and kill me.
「私」は「嘘」でできた「わたし」だから。	'watashi' wa 'uso' de dekita 'watashi' dakara.	“I” am a “self” made up of “lies,” after all.

English translation by MeaningfulUsername

I try to ignore the hurt inside
And bit, by bit
Part of me dies
The smile on my face is just a lie
A lie, a lie
I just can't hide

The blade of a knife that cuts so deep
The pain, the pain
I don't dare speak
I can't let you know the way I feel
A secret I will keep

I don't need your sympathy
Your vicious lies they're killing me
And you don't even understand
The things I feel or who I am

Try so hard to bring you joy
My heart is cold the flame has died
I hide behind the lie that has become the new me

I toss and I turn, I just can't sleep
You're gone, so long, that's fine with me
I won't turn around, my mind is clear
but the wounds that you leave never heal

Now I know you'll never change
You've got the same look on your face
And things will never be the same
It's over now and you're to blame
Twist the knife, I feel the pain
You hurt me but I won't complain
And like a fool I'm smiling through the tears
A fool, for you

A trick of the light where am I
Time fades away like yesterday

I don't need your sympathy
Your vicious lies they're killing me
And things will never be the same
It's over now and I'm to blame
Can you do one last thing for me?
Put me out of my misery
I hide behind the lie that has become the new me, the real me

Chinese	Pinyin	English
一直壓抑的這份情感	yīzhí yāyì de zhè fèn qínggǎn	These emotions kept inside
一個一個消滅毀滅	yīgè yīgè xiāomiè huǐmiè	Exterminating, destroying them one by one
硬擠出來的我的笑臉	yìngjǐ chūlái de wǒ de xiàoliǎn	Forcing out my smile
討厭討厭我的眼淚	tǎoyàn tǎoyàn wǒ de yǎnlèi	Hating, hating, my tears

藏在心中的這份傷痕	cáng zài xīnzhōng de zhè fèn shānghén	This scar hidden in my heart
痛了痛了不說出口	tòngle tòng liǎo bù shuō chūkǒu	Pain, pain, unable to open my mouth
這樣子的話你就不會	zhèyàng zi dehuà nǐ jiù bù huì	This way you will not
發現我的傷痛	fāxiàn wǒ de shāng tòng	Discover my wounds

你的每一字一句就這樣毀滅我的心	nǐ de měi yī zì yījù jiù zhèyàng huǐmiè wǒ de xīn	Your every word and phrase destroying my heart just like that
只是你還是不了解我心底的那個深處	zhǐshì nǐ háishì bù liǎojiě wǒ xīndǐ dì nàgè shēn chù	Yet you still don't understand the deepest part of my heart

熄滅的那盞燈光永遠不會再被點亮	xímiè dì nà zhǎn dēngguāng yǒngyuǎn bù huì zài bèi diǎn liàng	The lamp extinguished will never be lit again
我就是那個被謊言覆蓋的自己	wǒ jiùshì nàgè bèi huǎngyán fùgài de zìjǐ	I am the one being covered in lies

天都已亮了你在哪裡	tiān dōu yǐ liàngle nǐ zài nǎlǐ	The sun is up, where are you
不在不在也無所謂了	bùzài bùzài yě wúsuǒwèile	Absent, absent, It no longer matters
可是你留下了那麼多的	kěshì nǐ liú xiàle nàme duō de	But you left so much
傷痕傷痕無法癒合	shānghén shānghén wúfǎ yùhé	Scars, scars, unmendable

連每次微笑的你就像一如往常的	lián měi cì wéixiào de nǐ jiù xiàng yī rú wǎngcháng de	Even your smile was just like usual
但在心底的深處還是無法原諒自己	dàn zài xīndǐ de shēn chù háishì wúfǎ yuánliàng zìjǐ	Yet in the bottom of my heart I still cannot forgive myself
好辛苦這一句話怎麼可能說出口	hǎo xīnkǔ zhè yījù huà zěnme kěnéng shuō chūkǒu	It's so hard, how can I say that
我就像是被牽絆的小丑	wǒ jiù xiàng shì bèi qiān bàn de xiǎochǒu	I'm like a clown being dragged around
笑著笑著	xiàozhe xiàozhe	Smiling, smiling

現在消失的自己全是謊言全是謊言	xiànzài xiāoshī de zìjǐ quán shì huǎngyán quán shì huǎngyán	Now my disappearing self is all lies, is all lies
你的每一字一句就這樣毀滅我的心	nǐ de měi yī zì yījù jiù zhèyàng huǐmiè wǒ de xīn	Your every word and phrase destroying my heart just like that
我當然無法原諒你	wǒ dāngrán wúfǎ yuánliàng nǐ	Of course I can't forgive you
就算是那樣的我	jiùsuàn shì nàyàng de wǒ	Even if I was like that
如果你夠狠心的話就把我狠狠毀滅	rúguǒ nǐ gòu hěnxīn dehuà jiù bǎ wǒ hěn hěn huǐmiè	If you are ruthless enough then just utterly destroy me
因為我就是那個被謊言覆蓋的自己	yīnwèi wǒ jiùshì nàgè bèi huǎngyán fùgài de zìjǐ	Because I am the one being covered in lies