Talk:トキヲ・ファンカ (Tokio Funka)/@comment-11501835-20181201164742

I see some imprecisions, allow me if you will:

からくり仕掛けの町にー>I would use "gimmick-ridden town", as the word "trick" is too general.

たむろする若衆、紫煙を燻らせて眼は虚ろー>I wouldn't necessarily cut the lines, and the expression "smoke the purple smoke" doesn't really roll off well. Since we're talking about smoke, and this phrase has connotations of "that dodgy incense with drugs in it", I would use "mauve fumes" to express 紫煙. Also, 虚ろis not "empty" but hollow.

岡っ引きー>I'm not sure about this being "thief-takers". You mean "thief snatchers"?

弱き者abandonー>This one's up for debate, but I'm not sure about just simply putting it the way it would be grammatically correct (abandon the weak), because the original text has purposefully altered grammar. Maybe "the weak and frail - abandon" (next lines too)