Talk:梦想消逝的青年 (Mèngxiǎng Xiāoshì de Qīngnián)/@comment-26822286-20150726141412

Hey luiysia, you asked for an opinion on your translation, so here it is

First things first: here's my mostly literal translation: http://pastebin.com/mHFuyEby

Most of the differences is just due to our different writing style. Your translation is about correct, but there's a few glaring (to me anyways) mistakes, most of them in the beginning

一个人无所事事坐在电脑前: while "一个人"can refer to "a person" or "someone". It's used as the subject here and " I " is omitted

日复一日等待着每天快终结:"Waiting for the next day" doesn't quite convey the meaning of the lyrics here, note "终结" here

翻开小时候作业本上的书写: "书写" Literally "book writing" a better translation would be "handwriting"

幻想得到超能力随便把时间给冻结: Im not sure how you got your translation, but lets break this up into phrases. 幻想[Imagine,Fantasy]得到[Getting, Receiving]超能力[Superpowers]随便[Randomly, Casually]把[have]时间[Time]给[give, be]冻结[Frozen]

曾经聊动漫的朋友和同学: a minor thing, but "动漫" always refers to anime, Cartoons would be"卡通"

有的决定出国有的已经读研: another minor thing "出国" usually means leaving the country, or literally "Out,Exit(verb)" and "Country" Immigration is usually "移民" Lit. "Move, Transfer" and "Citizen, people"

渺小的我干着不喜欢的职业: "干着" is an informal/rude way of saying "doing"

无论是三次元还是那二次元: This is rather unusual, in internet slang 3 dimensions refers to Real Life and 2 dimension refers to cyberspace.

继续上大街去找业务: an cultural thing, directly translated "业务" is simply "Business, Sales" but if you check the word on..say the chinese wikipedia https://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E4%B8%9A%E5%8A%A1 it shows the more fitting translation, and reveals a bit on the character singing, he/she is a salesman, the kind that have to take a bunch of files/documents on the streets

稚嫩的笔法带领我: this is an line open to interpretation "笔法" could mean "Brush strokes(in paintings)" or "Calligraphy"

I feel that while you know chinese, you are unfamiliar with the Idioms and proverbs that is imbedded into the lanuage itself. For example: "老大不小", "老大" means "Eldest Sibling" but in this case "老大不小" is a proverb meaning something like "a certain age, old enough, already too old" Well, to be honest, I don't exactly have a formal education in Chinese but I have spoke it all my life, so while I can't get into the Theory or Grammer Rules of Chinese, I hope pointing out the mistakes help a bit. My recommendation is that when you come across terms or phrases you don't quite know, don't be afraid to search it up, not even native chinese speakers are familiar with all the proverbs.